My reflection is as follows..... as I have written before I enjoy joining different swaps and was working on my Bead Soup Party piece along with a back to school themed necklace for my other swap,along with making jewelry to supply a local yoga studio,where I practice, my museum trunk show,the shops I supply and the farmers market, all on top of my day job,my etsy shops and the most important thing being a mom to Joey, so all I can say is that I am almost to busy for words.
So I have been trying to plug away and really get things done(overachieving).
And then BAM!!! my illness began rearing it's ugly head this past week, just when I have zero time to be down and out. I try to stay as positive as possible about my health issues,sometime I tantrum,sometime it's so bad I cry and ALL of the time I wish it was different for me,I rarely discuss it because of how others react, I don't want a pity party,or to hear you poor girl,or the people who just shake their heads in dismay, I've had to come to grips it's just what it is and it's now part of my life. I suffer from facial and cranial neuralgia, migraine headaches and fibromyalgia.
Starting last spring I went from the epitomy of health to a disaster practically overnight.
Oh yeah I had every doctor completely baffled,neurologists,family doctors,alternative doctors,if there was a doctor or specialist I saw them,yet not a single one could figure out what the hell my problem was. So countless amounts of doctor visits,dentist visits,tests oh and a truckload of cash later, One specialist decided to paste a generic name on what I have(at least I think it's generic) it just means head,face and all over body pain. And the guess is, that a non contagious strep infection in my blood is to blame. So after 6 months of hard core,and extremely painful, I might add, antibiotic injections 3 times a week,several oral antibiotics, they found out that this particular strain is resistant to antibiotics. Yep screwed.
I would have been nice to know that, before my hair started breaking off,me becoming anemic from the injections,my teeth being discolored and my body and immune system being totally wiped out from these lovely antibiotics.
So being disgusted with what was happening to me I took matters into my own hands the only things that the doctors were doing was screwing me up more than I was to start with. So I began a hardcore life change which includes a supplement plan,a restricted eating plan, an exercise plan and I got off of those nasty antibiotics,started to build up my immune system with herbs,fighting the infection with colloidal silver and have been functional for about 6 months. Then of course since I was beginning to feel a bit better,maybe not my old self but way better than I had in over a year, I completely lost my mind and started wear myself thin,by overworking and under sleeping, my already (stupid)fragile body and bite off more than my sick ass can chew. The migraines back full force this past week and face,neck and body pain from out of this world.
So the moral of all this drivel is that I took a look at my miserable reflection and said "Hey asshat,snap out of it, you need to relax a little before you are totally worthless to everyone." Every once in a while it's good to give yourself a little shake and reality check. So I guess what gets done gets done and what doesn't doesn't. Not a great motto but for now it's going to be my motto!
